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My daughter wrote me a poem a few weeks ago. Since then I think about the poem at least once a day, most days more. There are parts of her poem, and simple they may be, have had an impact on me that I cannot seem to shake. One of the main reasons my teeny tiny spot on the web here hasn’t been updated in a year is because last year was a hard year for me and much of what I was going through I didn’t feel like sharing. I wrote about it, but didn’t make those posts public. Anyways, I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. Back to the poem – For my daughters 13th Birthday I made her a bunch of Mom bucks; “Watch a girlie movie with Mom”, “Go out to lunch with Mom”, “Spend a day at the mall with Mom,” and more. My daughter made me a homemade card with a pocket in it with her Mom buck to redeem for going to the mall, and also in the card was this poem:

Mom
I am a teenage girl who loves my mom.
I wonder if I can spend time at the mall with my mom.
I hear me and my mom having fun at the mall.
I smell yummy chocolate at the mall.
I want the Build-a-stuffed-animal border collie at the mall.
I am a teenage girl who loves my mom.

I pretend that me and mom are at the mall.
I feel happy when I spend time with my mom.
I touch stuff at the mall.
I worry about my Moms MS.
I cry when my mom is hurt.
I am a teenage girl who loves my mom.

I understand about my Moms MS and what it can do.
I say that my mom is the coolest Mom in the world.
I dream of me having that Collie.
I try to help my mom as much as I can.
I hope and pray that me and my Mom will go to the mall this week or next!
I am a teenage girl who loves my Mom!

The creativity and time that my daughter put into the card and the poem amazes me. She is a beautiful girl inside and out. She takes after me you know. I can see through her poem how my MS has made an impact on her. My daughter has seen me fall due to the MS, she has seen the fatigue I get, she sees my balance issues and has even gone to physical and speech therapies with me. Her poem has reminded me that MS doesn’t affect just me, but my whole family.

What The?

[When I make these posts “public” my only hope is that someone who may going through some sort of diagnosis progress will find encouragement. My friend, who was diagnosed with MS years ago has been a lifesaver for me because she has already been through what I am now going through.]

I need a what? An emergency MRI of my low back because my doctor thinks it’s my motor nerve that is being damaged, and causing me not to be able to use my right leg? Huh?

Less than a week later after the MRI my doctor calls me with the results. It’s good news, my herniated disk has actually improved! Amazing. Off to see a back surgeon who then tells me my problem is bursitis in my hip, but yet I have no x-rays of my hip.

Ok, all this happened back in May of 2010
Since then the numbness that I had in my right hip had spread down to my knee.. in just a month. In late June not only was I numb from my hip to my knee, but I was also getting numb on my left side from my shoulder blade around to the front of my ribs. What the heck?

Wait, let me back up to November 2009 when I went to see my doctor about the fatigue I was going through which was making it hard for me to lose weight. I was treated for it and now I get a good nights sleep, however there are days where I still feel like my legs and arms have bricks on them. (Yes, had a sleep study done. Thankfully, I do not have sleep apnea.. just an active brain. I think too much!)

Fast forward to July 2010. While walking and hiking I start noticing that my left foot falls asleep. I’m really confused now.. it only happens when I walk. So, After my trip to Alaska I see my doctor again about my symptoms of numbness, feeling off balance, double vision, falling down, weakness in my legs and dizziness. She orders blood work and a brain scan. Oh, fun.
My blood work came out normal which meant something else is going on… in my head. (What else is new about that?)

Brain scan goes well, but twenty minutes after the scan the imaging place calls me asking me to come back for another brain scan, but with contrast (dye injected into my veins). The same day I get a call from my doctors office telling me that my doctor wants me to come in to discuss the results. Usually my doctor calls me with results so I start thinking… what is it?

Actually, I had an idea about what I was going through after I had received my blood work results. Surely enough when I sit down with my doctor to go over the brain scan results she tells me exactly what I had suspected. Multiple Sclerosis. She sends me (and even made my appointment for me) to see one of the best neurologist in town that specializes in MS. I was sent to his office with the referral in my hand that said “possible MS”. Since then I have gone from a “possible” diagnosis to a “looks like it.”

MS isn’t totally foreign to me since one of my best friends from high school has it. I’ve been able to help her off and on for the past fifteen years.

Normally, I wouldn’t use this blog to explain what I am going through, but I am using this to help my sanity during this tough process of diagnosis. When I make these posts “public” my only hope that someone who may going through some sort of diagnosis progress will find encouragement. My friend, who was diagnosed with MS years ago has been a lifesaver for me because she has already been through what I am now going through.

The Plan

Seven day plan:
Day 1: (Did yesterday July 2nd)
10 min. warm-up on recumbent bike
The following done with 4 sets of reps. (15, 15, 12, 10) 10 sec. rest between reps.
Push-ups
Lateral raises
Bicep curls (5lbs weights)
tricep kickbacks (5lbs)
squats
calf raises
End with 30 min. intense cardio

Day 2: (Did today July 3)
45 minutes on recumbent bike

Day 3:
Same as day 1
add
ABS – 2×15 of each crunches, leg raises, and seated twists
End with 30 min intense cardio

Day 4:
45 min. on recumbent bike

Day 5:
Same as day 3

Day 6:
45 min. cardio

Day 7: rest

*Note: Cardio will be either Wii Active, Wii Gold’s Gym or Recumbent bike.

ffi
1. When it’s quiet you better investigate. You never know what you’ll find. One time I found the children in the downstairs bathroom – they had sprayed water and soap everywhere. At least the bathroom was clean.

2. I haven’t hiked in what seems like a month. Time has been an issue.

3. My heart is full of questions.

4. I know two people who have birthday’s on the 4th of July.

5. In the town where I was born lived a man who sailed to sea. And he told us of his life, In the land of submarines, .

6. Humor is something I really love about my significant other / friend.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to going to bed, tomorrow my plans include rest and Sunday, I want to watch “The Great American Hero” marathon on Sy.fy!

For more underlining visit Friday Fill-Ins.

With having five children there are days like this:

Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody

This is a little story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody.

There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it.

Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it.

Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody’s job.

Everybody thought that Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn’t do it.

It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done

My mother had that saying hung on our our refrigerator door when I was young. I remember having to read it when I had to pick up something or clean something that I didn’t do (but my brother did). Hey, my brother blamed me for things too ya know.

Now that I’m all grown-up and I have my own children I now understand what my mom went through. So… I think I’ll hang a copy of this on my refrigerator.

Back at it Again

I’m back at it again. At what? Weight loss. After having a stumbling block of bursitis in my hip placed before me on my journey I am ready to get rolling again. I’m not fully recovered but I at least have strength in my leg again. Unfortunately, I feel like I am starting all over again after losing thirty pounds, but only to gain ten back because the steroids that my doctor put me on. Thankfully, I have continued to lose a few inches which makes me happy.

My weight loss journey has not been an easy one. Seems when I’m doing great and I’m losing I injure myself either by accident or just by being stupid. Injuries mean pain and exercising with pain stinks. It’s a frustrating cycle. Exercising helps the pain, but it hurts to exercise. I’ve had chronic back pain for over seventeen years. When will I learn not to over-do it? I’m still learning.

I admit that I have not been exactly nice to my body over the years. When I was a kid I would jump off roofs and six foot high walls. My dad and I would race down mountains after hiking them. I’ve been thrown off horses and have been in car accidents. Oh, and five pregnancies.  I love a good adrenaline high. If I knew then what all my adventures would have done to my body now I wouldn’t of done them. Wait, yes I would! I don’t regret any of my fun. Now I need to focus on getting healthy again so I can go on more adventures. I want to ski (snowboard), ride horses, hike mountains, kayak, and beat my children in a running race again.

I think I’ll log my journey, as time allows, here on my lil’ ol’ blog.

ffi
1. The road less traveled is my favorite place to travel to, you never know what you’ll find.

2. When I think about my childhood, I often remember running barefoot in the grass, hiking with my parents, camping, finding cool rocks, jumping off walls and roofs, free popcorn when the popcorn store closed for the night, exciting adventures and feeling carefree.

3. Someone who is understanding, who has a good sense of humor, and is honest makes for a good friend.

4. The wind in the trees, the rain on my skin, are welcomed after a long hard hike in the heat.

5. Adrenaline is so exciting! Really, if I didn’t love a good adrenaline high I wouldn’t be in so much pain today with old injuries.  I will always be an adrenaline junkie.

6. My best friend knows that I love her dearly.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to watching a movie with my family, tomorrow my plans include rest and Sunday, I want to plan the week and get some cleaning done!

For more underlining fun please visit Friday Fill-Ins.

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